[There's a kind of panicked voice on the end of the line and the rustling sound of a clothing, maybe a coat.]

So. Hello there apparently public network of questionable helpfulness!

So this creepy superhero recruiting voicemail lady. She... uh...[there's a pause] She's seriously not kidding is she ( Read more... )

[Video shows Doc sitting behind his desk at the clinic, looking very serious]All right, everyone who got shocked during the Porter's latest cry for attention? I need to know if you're displaying any of the following symptoms ( Read more... )

[PRIVATE TO SELINA]

Ms. Kyle? It's Dr. Mcninja. Listen, you wouldn't happen to have any really big jungle cats in your possession that you've, uh, lost or something, would you? I've been finding the weirdest stuff on patrol. Cat stuff.

ooc: In regard to this.

Hey City! Take a good look at your new least popular member! [Switches to this video of Teddy-as-Lust. His voice is exactly the same as hers when he speaks.]

Uh, that's the lady, not the kid who turned into her. She's responsible for the murder of one Selina Kyle and an innocent teenager I haven't identified yet. Her name's Lust, she's extremely ( Read more... )

Dr. Mcninja here. Okay, so I've examined the body of the kid found with the button eyes, and in my professional medical opinion something seriously messed up is going on here.

This kid's physical condition is perfect- no injuries, no signs of poison, no infections, toxicology screen negative, not even a runny nose. The only thing wrong with him- ( Read more... )

[A sigh. Groans, whimpering and various other patient-type noises can be heard in the background.]

Okay. Wow. This has been a lot of doctoring. But new patients have stopped coming in- mostly- so I'm thinking the worst is over. Hey, just a shout-out to all the healing-powered types and other doctors out there! People of the City, give 'em a hand. ( Read more... )

Okay, let me just see if I've got this straight.

I've been kidnapped to an alternate dimension to take part in some sort of compulsory superhero program in a city with no police officers. Or name, apparently. And I am being handsomely compensated for this with free rent, and this Blackberry thing.

Because the single best way of dealing with a ( Read more... )